I started designing a gorgeous coffee table book for one of my favorite clients today (on their BOAT!! can’t wait to show you!) when I realized I had somehow never posted their last session. As a *storytelling* photographer, I think there is no better way to show off your session than with a custom designed coffee table book. Just think, there are moments that are captured that you may not want to blow up huge and hang on your wall - but sometimes those are the moments that you will treasure most when you look back….

I wish I had photographed this lovely family’s book before I delivered it (it was STUNNING!) but will share a few spreads of the book here :)

Twenty years ago today - I waded out into the Atlantic Ocean and scattered my dad’s ashes into the waves. My father LOVED the beach so much - it gives me comfort to this day when I look at the ocean and think of him…

I didn’t grow up with my Dad, my parents got divorced when I was 4 years old and my Mom and I moved away. I would spend summers and holidays with my Dad in New York -but since he had a true *bachelor pad* ( let’s just say I come by my *messiness* honestly! ) I would stay with my grandparents. My Dad got to be the *fun dad* and pick me up to go to the beach, to go roller skating or to head out for fun adventures. We always had a great time… he would sit through me playing “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” over and over and over again for hours without complaint…but we didn’t have the typical father/daughter relationship. I always loved my Dad, and I knew that he loved me….but it wasn’t something we would SAY very much. That would feel awkward.(I know that sounds sad, but it wasn’t - it was just the way it was)

Anyway, I grew up and became a pain-in-the-ass teenager and would much rather hang out with my friends in the summer - so my times with my dad became shorter and shorter. I missed him, but I was busy having fun. Then, the year before he died, I saw this card that *spoke to me* and I bought it for him for Father’s Day. It was one of those Blue Mountain Arts mushy-gushy cards - and it was able to PERFECTLY express all the things I would never have been able to say myself. Something along the lines of *Dad, I know we don’t say *I Love you* very much*, but that’s okay. I always know that you love me and I love you too* only it was way longer and gushier than that….

Father’s Day rolled around and you know what I did?

Nothing.
I didn’t mail it.
I was too *embarrassed*.

Fast forward to October that year (1989) and I had just been hired to be a flight attendant with USAir. I was headed off to Pittsburgh for my training and I ran across the card. I quickly addressed the envelope, threw a stamp on it and mailed it before I could have second thoughts.

February 8, 1990 my Dad died suddenly. He played racquetball that morning, went for a walk on the beach, got back to his girlfriend’s house and said “I don’t feel so good” - then was gone. Just like that. I have always been thankful that someone who was so vibrant, so full of life, such a *life of the party* man - didn’t have to suffer through a prolonged illness. But going suddenly can leave things unsaid.

I flew to New York and headed to his disaster zoneapartment. There, in the midst of all his stuff - there it was.

On his bedside table.
The card that I had bought, the card that said the *perfect thing*, the card I ALMOST did not mail.
I could never explain how much peace that brought me. For although we didn’t *talk about stuff like that* much….

He knew.

This is how I remember my Dad. Might have something to do with the fact that he had gazillions of these headshots scattered all the place!

My Dad was quite a bit older than my Mom. He fought in World War 2 - in this photo he is 18 and in the army serving in Germany and France.

This is one of the VERY FEW photos I have of me and my Dad. Although we spent ever summer together, I guess no one ever had a camera. Photos really are priceless (that’s why I always try to *force* reluctant moms and dads into getting in some of the shots!)

A wild and crazy guy, his motto and favorite song was *Don’t Worry, Be Happy* by Bobby McFerrin.

This is probably the last photo I have of my Dad before he passed away. I do have quite a collection of him through the years holding big fish :)

Looking for something in last year’s folder, saw this snapshot again and it made me smile :) hmmmm- wonder where they got their fashion sense???

So, today is the day I *relinquish my title* - the awards ceremony for our state convention is tonight and the lovely *Children’s Photographer of the Year* moniker will be bestowed on some other fine photographer! I am sure whoever (whomever?) it is will be worthy….but can’t help but daydream… it would be fanFREAKINtastic if the awards were kind of like the Miss America pageant (just go with me here…)

Just picture - there I am, dressed to the nines in some sparkly little number - I have my sash and my tiara and my fake tan and an armful of fragrant flowers - and before they call out the name of the new winner a song begins and I get to slowly walk around the stage with a big smile and teary eyes while my voiceover tells all about the things I’ve learned and the experiences I have had over the past year….the song slowly fades out….I take one last look at the crowd…blow a few more kisses…and just smile and wave….

Yeah, well….it was a nice little fantasy.

Instead, here I am in my jammies (pink flannel with Rudolph - MUCH cozier than the sparkly little fantasy dress- you DID want to know, didn’t you?) I am not even AT this years awards banquet (and how am I so sure I didn’t win?, you ask?)

“YOU WILL ALWAYS MISS 100% OF THE SHOTS YOU DON’T TAKE” ~~Wayne Gretzky

Yep - I am a slacker and couldn’t get it together to even enter this year! Instead, I have decided to relive past glory, one last time….smile and wave….

Here is the lovely Miss Alex. Last year *Best of Show* winner and the entry that earned me *Children’s Photographer of the Year* Be looking for her lovely face to be on my blog again SOON (can’t wait to see her!)

Now, normally I wouldn’t consider posting my other two merit prints, but since they are my own kids and I am a proud mommy, I will :)

See you next year!